No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
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My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
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The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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