all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
