i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Someone shit on the floor
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
