I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
