You're my little dorito
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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