omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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