I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
