She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
