we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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