And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
