ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
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