The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Can I color on your dick again?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
