I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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