so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
