you guys were way drunker than both of me
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
