She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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