He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
