yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
