Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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