Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize