11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
