my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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