Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
