I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
one might say we're banned from that church
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
