best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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