If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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