I should be sponsored by Trojan
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
