Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
