You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
