how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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