i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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