At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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