so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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