So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Congratulations! We have a period
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