His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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