So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
