brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
