HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I am mentally ready for anal.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
