No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
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