Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
