I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
It's blow job season.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
