doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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