I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
