i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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