so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Randomize
