Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
