I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just gargled with NyQuil
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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