u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm at about main and main street
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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