Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
There was a lot of him and a little penis
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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