You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
