you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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