Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize