Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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