Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
