can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
