i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
