Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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