Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
