I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
