Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
