walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
