I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
