You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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