doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
